Friday, March 23, 2007

Dating Advice: Tip One

I've been trying to branch out from posting only about religion and politics. Thought I'd try out this topic. I have a great girlfriend (hi, babe!) but I wouldn't exactly call myself a dating expert. Still, this is the internet, where everybody's an expert on everything.

Here's my first dating tip for men:

Exaggerate your height. If e-dating, add an inch or two to your profile. In person, get some shoes or inserts that make you taller. I discovered this by accident when I got orthotics to take care of some chronic knee issues. Being taller will help you at work, as well. Tall people make more money, get more promotions, and are much more likely to be elected president.

People don't mean to be so shallow; it's just in our genes.

If you're worried about ethics or what she'll think when you take your shoes off for the first time, remember that your date is not only wearing makeup and the most flattering clothes she can find, she's possibly wearing a padded bra and control-top pantyhose as well. Not to mention the fact that she might be wearing heels. :-)

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I wonder when I'll next get a date. I have a good feeling about 2011.

asher said...

Exaggerating your income might help too....who cares...it's just a date..

Skcorefil said...

The height thing works in many situations and even for women. I hate heels but I've found when I wear them or other height boosting designs, people don't treat me like a kid and don't assume I am incompetent.

Random said...

I rather like a piece of advice Scott Adams (of Dilbert fame) once gave - complement an intelligent woman on her looks, and a beautiful one on her brains. Presumably on the principle that it won't be what she's expecting to hear and will therefore sound more sincere.

Of course this probably doesn't help if you're lucky enough to go out with somebody who is both...

elf said...

I saw a PBS show about sexual preferences that said that regardless of women's descriptions of their ideal male body type, all end up favoring height. That was actually the only constant.

I don't think I ever particularly went for tall guys myself, but then, I'm so short that they're pretty much all taller than me.

Jack's Shack said...

That is pretty funny.

Ezzie said...

Seriously? Not liking it. It's still lying... (Note: I'm happily married to a girl who is a full foot shorter than me.)