Your son, a sweet, well-behaved boy, comes to you at age 16 and tells you he does not believe in Orthodox Judaism. He says that while of course he will not violate the laws of shabbat or kashrut in your home, he no longer wants to attend religious schools or participate in davening. He'd like to attend a secular school and start hanging out with non-religious and non-Jewish teens. He doesn't want to wear a kippah any more, either. You can tell that he is speaking from a place of integrity and genuine soul-searching, and you can also tell that his mind is made up.
Do you force him to stick it out in the Orthodox school? Coerce him into continuing to daven as long as he's living in your house? Make him promise to keep kosher and shabbos even outside the house? Forbid him from taking his kippah off at least while any of your friends, family, or neighbors might see? Or do you accept his wishes and support his choices, much as they pain you?
I've never seen an honest discussion about what to do when your kids go off the derech other than discussions about how to get them to stay or utter denial that it's even possible in your family.
It would be great if this became a meme that went through the Orthodox blogging community. I'll start by tagging Ezzie, Chana, DovBear, Orthoprax, and BrooklynWolf. Please tag some others in your replies.
Jewish Philosopher: Don't bother. We know you'd chain your kid to the radiator and try to beat the devil out of him.
Showing posts with label meme. Show all posts
Showing posts with label meme. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Atheist 13
I've been tagged by that other Jewish atheist, The Atheist Jew, with a meme of ten questions:
Q1. How would you define “atheism”?
There are at least two kinds of atheists: Those who do not believe in God and those who believe God does not exist. I'm among the latter.
Q2. Was your upbringing religious? If so, what tradition?
I grew up in a relatively left-wing Modern Orthodox tradition.
Q3. How would you describe “Intelligent Design”, using only one word?
Desperation.
Q4. What scientific endeavour really excites you?
Neuroscience. Also, genetics, nanotech, robotics, and AI.
Q5. If you could change one thing about the “atheist community”, what would it be and why?
I'd like to see it become less a community of the bitter and wounded and more a community of those who share a common philosophical stance.
Q6. If your child came up to you and said “I’m joining the clergy”, what would be your first response?
It depends on the kind of clergy. Humanistic Chaplain/Rabbi? "Wow, that's great!" Orthodox Rabbi or Catholic Priest? "Maybe we should have a little talk..." Ultimately, it's their life.
Q7. What’s your favorite theistic argument, and how do you usually refute it?
Without God, I can't see how we have free will. It appears that we have free will, therefore God must exist. Curiously, nobody seems to make this argument except me, on Opposite Day.
My refutation is that we actually don't have free will. This has disturbing implications, which I have not yet come to terms with.
Q8. What’s your most “controversial” (as far as general attitudes amongst other atheists goes) viewpoint?
I don't think there is a "general attitude among other atheists." Among atheists are secular humanists, libertarians, Randian libertarians, doves, and hawks. Perhaps I have more respect for some religious people than many atheists do.
My psychologist is an Episcopal priest, for example.
Q9. Of the “Four Horsemen” (Dawkins, Dennett, Hitchens and Harris) who is your favourite, and why?
Dawkins, by far. Even though he sometimes goes too far as activists tend to do, his book The Blind Watchmaker blew my mind. To be fair, I haven't read much of the others. Hitchens, though, strikes me as a pompous blowhard.
Q10. If you could convince just one theistic person to abandon their beliefs, who would it be?
Great question. Let me think as I type:
Osama bin Laden? Nah, I don't think that would much matter at this point.
Rav Aharon Lichtenstein? Too selfish. While I would love to see a prominent Modern Orthodox rabbi publicly admit there is no God, it just wouldn't matter that much in the grand scheme of things.
Ultimately, I'd like to convince that kid or young adult who thinks they're a bad person because of their sexual orientation or sex life or curiosity about the outside world or lack of religious fervor.
Now name three other atheist blogs that you’d like to see take up the Atheist Thirteen gauntlet:
XGH, although he's only admitted to being an agnostic, Abandoning Eden, and Lubab No More.
Q1. How would you define “atheism”?
There are at least two kinds of atheists: Those who do not believe in God and those who believe God does not exist. I'm among the latter.
Q2. Was your upbringing religious? If so, what tradition?
I grew up in a relatively left-wing Modern Orthodox tradition.
Q3. How would you describe “Intelligent Design”, using only one word?
Desperation.
Q4. What scientific endeavour really excites you?
Neuroscience. Also, genetics, nanotech, robotics, and AI.
Q5. If you could change one thing about the “atheist community”, what would it be and why?
I'd like to see it become less a community of the bitter and wounded and more a community of those who share a common philosophical stance.
Q6. If your child came up to you and said “I’m joining the clergy”, what would be your first response?
It depends on the kind of clergy. Humanistic Chaplain/Rabbi? "Wow, that's great!" Orthodox Rabbi or Catholic Priest? "Maybe we should have a little talk..." Ultimately, it's their life.
Q7. What’s your favorite theistic argument, and how do you usually refute it?
Without God, I can't see how we have free will. It appears that we have free will, therefore God must exist. Curiously, nobody seems to make this argument except me, on Opposite Day.
My refutation is that we actually don't have free will. This has disturbing implications, which I have not yet come to terms with.
Q8. What’s your most “controversial” (as far as general attitudes amongst other atheists goes) viewpoint?
I don't think there is a "general attitude among other atheists." Among atheists are secular humanists, libertarians, Randian libertarians, doves, and hawks. Perhaps I have more respect for some religious people than many atheists do.
My psychologist is an Episcopal priest, for example.
Q9. Of the “Four Horsemen” (Dawkins, Dennett, Hitchens and Harris) who is your favourite, and why?
Dawkins, by far. Even though he sometimes goes too far as activists tend to do, his book The Blind Watchmaker blew my mind. To be fair, I haven't read much of the others. Hitchens, though, strikes me as a pompous blowhard.
Q10. If you could convince just one theistic person to abandon their beliefs, who would it be?
Great question. Let me think as I type:
Osama bin Laden? Nah, I don't think that would much matter at this point.
Rav Aharon Lichtenstein? Too selfish. While I would love to see a prominent Modern Orthodox rabbi publicly admit there is no God, it just wouldn't matter that much in the grand scheme of things.
Ultimately, I'd like to convince that kid or young adult who thinks they're a bad person because of their sexual orientation or sex life or curiosity about the outside world or lack of religious fervor.
Now name three other atheist blogs that you’d like to see take up the Atheist Thirteen gauntlet:
XGH, although he's only admitted to being an agnostic, Abandoning Eden, and Lubab No More.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
A Meme: Beauty in the 20th Century
Blog-friend Mark had a good idea for a meme:
Here goes. Note that these are "five things of transcendent beauty that were discovered or created in the last 100 years," not "the most beautiful five things created in the last 100 years."
1. Michael Jordan's Dunk
Jordan epitomized the combination of ferocity and beauty that represent sports at their most beautiful.
2. The Blue Marble
The definition of "transcendent." Just mind-blowing.
3. E = mc2
Terrible violence and incomprehensible power in such a little equation. I believe it may very well kill all of us. Today, incidentally, is the birthday of Robert Oppenheimer, who quoted the Bhagavad-Gita after the first nuclear explosion: "Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds."
4. Imagine, John Lennon.
So haunting in the distance between reality and utopia.
5. 2001: A Space Odyssey
I surprised myself with this one. I don't even really like this movie, because it's so slow I can't stand to watch it. But film was by far the most important art form of the 20th century and I just can't say that any other movie is as beautiful.
The 20th century gave us much that was not beautiful such as the Killing Fields, Auschwitz, Holodomor, Stalingrad, and that list continues much too far. However, every age has beauty to claim as its own. Doestoevsky claimed that “beauty would save the world.” In this vein it seems imperative that we remark and remember beauty that is in our midst.
This particular meme invites the partipants to name five things of transcendent beauty that were discovered or created in the last 100 years. Name them, explain why you find it beautiful and then instead of tagging N others to pass it along, if you read this and think beauty important … take it up!
Here goes. Note that these are "five things of transcendent beauty that were discovered or created in the last 100 years," not "the most beautiful five things created in the last 100 years."
1. Michael Jordan's Dunk
Jordan epitomized the combination of ferocity and beauty that represent sports at their most beautiful.
2. The Blue Marble
The definition of "transcendent." Just mind-blowing.
3. E = mc2
Terrible violence and incomprehensible power in such a little equation. I believe it may very well kill all of us. Today, incidentally, is the birthday of Robert Oppenheimer, who quoted the Bhagavad-Gita after the first nuclear explosion: "Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds."
4. Imagine, John Lennon.
So haunting in the distance between reality and utopia.
5. 2001: A Space Odyssey
I surprised myself with this one. I don't even really like this movie, because it's so slow I can't stand to watch it. But film was by far the most important art form of the 20th century and I just can't say that any other movie is as beautiful.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Which Biblical Character are You?
Chana's got a fun post up, which I'm going to steal:
Here are my answers, simulposted from her place:
Which biblical character do you feel you are most like?
Abraham. Although I wasn't quite so rude as to literally smash my father's idols, I did come to disbelieve in his religion and left the (metaphorical) land of my father.
Which biblical character would you marry?
Eve. I couldn't have resisted the Tree of Knowledge, either. Also, I hear she was a looker. ;-)
Which biblical character would you want on your team (or on your side, during a war?)
Joshua, if I'm not worried about war crimes or genocide. That guy was brutal.
Which biblical character would you want to be close friends with?
It'd sure be fun to have deep conversations with David. Also, I bet he threw some great parties.
Which biblical character do you think would make an excellent Disney villain?
Haman.
- Which biblical character do you feel you are most like?
- Which biblical character would you marry?
- Which biblical character would you want on your team (or on your side, during a war?)
- Which biblical character would you want to be close friends with?
- Which biblical character do you think would make an excellent Disney villain?
Here are my answers, simulposted from her place:
Which biblical character do you feel you are most like?
Abraham. Although I wasn't quite so rude as to literally smash my father's idols, I did come to disbelieve in his religion and left the (metaphorical) land of my father.
Which biblical character would you marry?
Eve. I couldn't have resisted the Tree of Knowledge, either. Also, I hear she was a looker. ;-)
Which biblical character would you want on your team (or on your side, during a war?)
Joshua, if I'm not worried about war crimes or genocide. That guy was brutal.
Which biblical character would you want to be close friends with?
It'd sure be fun to have deep conversations with David. Also, I bet he threw some great parties.
Which biblical character do you think would make an excellent Disney villain?
Haman.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Evolution of my Blog
New atheist blogger PhillyChief of You Made Me Say It has tagged me with the Evolutionary Meme. The idea is to pick five posts which reflect the evolution of one's blog and then to pass the meme on to five others.
Going back through the archives, I find that while my blog has evolved over the years (!) that I've run it, most of the themes were present nearly from the beginning. In other words, I, the Creator, created, in the beginning, several "kinds" from which all current posts descend. Macroevolution of this blog's posts is a lie perpetrated by the atheist liberal elite. The only evolution that exists at Jewish Atheist is microevolution, or evolution within "kinds."
Accordingly, all five posts that I will discuss are from 2005, my first year blogging. Each is the first post of it's "kind."
1) My first real post was on May 20, 2005. It was titled Common Questions I - The Cosmological Argument. This introduced the first major theme of my blog: arguments for atheism and/or against theism. This theme has become less prevalent as my break with Orthodox Judaism recedes into my past.
2) Only five days later, on May 25, 2005, I introduced the second major theme of this blog: the downsides of Orthodox Judaism as a culture and a lifestyle. In a post called How Orthodoxy Causes Good Men to do Evil, I used the example of homosexuality to argue that being Orthodox causes... well, you read the title.
3) A few weeks later, on June 15, 2005, I segued neatly into the field of politics with my post Orthodox Jews and the GOP. As my blog has (micro!) evolved and questions of theism and Orthodoxy have become less immediate for me, politics has taken on a bigger and bigger role.
4) Two days after that, on June 17, 2005, I wrote about Malkie Schwartz and the Footsteps organization in the egregiously-long-titled Support for People From Ultra-Orthodox or Chassidic Communities Seeking to Enter or Explore the World Beyond Their Communities. This theme of reaching out to and attempting to help other people leaving Orthodox Judaism has continued to this day.
5) On October 16, 2005, I posted Letter to Dad, which was written by a lesbian to her intolerant, religious father. This was the first post of many about the intersection of homosexuality, religion, and politics, which has become something of a pet cause of mine.
Going back through the archives, I find that while my blog has evolved over the years (!) that I've run it, most of the themes were present nearly from the beginning. In other words, I, the Creator, created, in the beginning, several "kinds" from which all current posts descend. Macroevolution of this blog's posts is a lie perpetrated by the atheist liberal elite. The only evolution that exists at Jewish Atheist is microevolution, or evolution within "kinds."
Accordingly, all five posts that I will discuss are from 2005, my first year blogging. Each is the first post of it's "kind."
1) My first real post was on May 20, 2005. It was titled Common Questions I - The Cosmological Argument. This introduced the first major theme of my blog: arguments for atheism and/or against theism. This theme has become less prevalent as my break with Orthodox Judaism recedes into my past.
2) Only five days later, on May 25, 2005, I introduced the second major theme of this blog: the downsides of Orthodox Judaism as a culture and a lifestyle. In a post called How Orthodoxy Causes Good Men to do Evil, I used the example of homosexuality to argue that being Orthodox causes... well, you read the title.
3) A few weeks later, on June 15, 2005, I segued neatly into the field of politics with my post Orthodox Jews and the GOP. As my blog has (micro!) evolved and questions of theism and Orthodoxy have become less immediate for me, politics has taken on a bigger and bigger role.
4) Two days after that, on June 17, 2005, I wrote about Malkie Schwartz and the Footsteps organization in the egregiously-long-titled Support for People From Ultra-Orthodox or Chassidic Communities Seeking to Enter or Explore the World Beyond Their Communities. This theme of reaching out to and attempting to help other people leaving Orthodox Judaism has continued to this day.
5) On October 16, 2005, I posted Letter to Dad, which was written by a lesbian to her intolerant, religious father. This was the first post of many about the intersection of homosexuality, religion, and politics, which has become something of a pet cause of mine.
Tagging
I hereby tag XGH, because whose blog has evolved more entertainingly?; Andrew Sullivan, because his views have evolved so interestingly; Chana at The Curious Jew, because her blog has tracked her maturation from floundering teen to sophisticated college student; Mark at Pseudo-Polymath, because I missed his first couple of years; and the fellas at 2blowhards, because their blog has evolved so well.
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