(Note: Dayenu is a Hebrew song from the Passover Hagaddah. The word means "it would have been enough for us." This is my parody. If you're at all religious, you'll probably be offended. Sorry in advance.)If the Torah described a flat Earth covered by a dome,
But didn't say Man was formed of dirt,
dayenu.If it said Man was formed of dirt,
But didn't imply the Earth was only 6000 years old,
dayenu.If it implied the Earth was only 6000 years old,
But didn't forbid the eating of Knowledge,
dayenu.If it forbade the eating of Knowledge,
But didn't blame Woman for Original Sin,
dayenu.If it blamed Woman for Original Sin,
But didn't speak of giants,
dayenu.If it spoke of giants,
but not of novocentenarians,
dayenu.If there were novocentenarians,
But but not the Tower of Babel myth,
dayenu.If it contained the Tower of Babel myth,
But didn't claim a global Flood,
dayenu.If it claimed a global Flood,
But didn't ask us to cut our weewees,
dayenu.If it asked us to cut our weewees,
But didn't make up the Exodus story,
dayenu.If it made up the Exodus story,
But didn't condone slavery in the ten commandments,
dayenu.If it condoned slavery in the ten commandments,
But didn't allow selling your daughter,
dayenu.If it allowed selling your daughter,
But didn't encourage animal sacrifices,
dayenu.If it encouraged animal sacrifices,
But didn't ask us to kill Sabbath-breakers,
dayenu.If it said to kill Sabbath-breakers,
But demanded understanding of homosexuals,
dayenu.If it told us to kill homosexuals,
But taught us germ theory,
dayenu.If it neglected to teach us germ theory,
But didn't blame the lepers for their illness,
dayenu.If it blamed the lepers for their illness,
But didn't write of talking donkeys,
dayenu.If it wrote of talking donkeys,
But didn't glorify wars of conquest,
dayenu.If it glorified wars of conquest,
But we weren't taught Moses wrote the Five Books,
dayenu.