Thursday, January 25, 2007

Opposite Day: Why Radical Islam is the One True Religion

I'm declaring Opposite Day early this year because it's my blog and I can do it if I want to. :-) Last year, I argued Why Christianity is True. This year, I'm going to try to get even more opposite of "Jewish Atheist" and go Fundamentalist Muslim. Feel free to write your own entries and link to them in the comments.

Just looking around at the world, it's obvious that there is but a single God. Atheists deny the obvious truth that the Big Bang points to -- that Allah created the Universe -- and the remaining polytheists in the world believe stuff so patently ridiculous it's not worth discussing. The history of life on Earth attests to Allah's presence and the history of humanity proves that Islam is the one true religion.

Any idiot can see that the Jews corrupted the Torah. I agree with Christians and Jews that Allah gave the Torah to Moses, but it's obvious that it's been corrupted across the generations. Contradictions abound and even the Torah itself hints at the Jews' twisting of it to their own ends. The story of Isaac stealing Ishmael's birthright is symbolic of the Jews using deceit to change the Torah, and the Jews will do almost anything to hide Allah's wishes which still shine through their textual manipulations. Of all the world's religions Islam is the only one who sees God anything like the way he appears in the Torah. Christians used Jesus to justify throwing out all the parts they didn't like and Jews have used their guile through the years to contort and distort every word of it even after they stopped changing the original.

Even according to the Torah, the Jews constantly disobeyed Allah's wishes and had to be warned and punished over and over again. Eventually, Allah sent Jesus to give them one last chance, but they denied his legitimacy as a prophet. The Romans at least abandoned paganism because of him, but they carried over too much of its legacy and created a new misguided religion around Jesus, borrowing from all over the place to claim Jesus himself was God, which is completely ridiculous.

I hardly need to go into the long, long history of Christian corruption. Most of the Popes cared about nothing more than power, money, and sex and Protestantism has been no better. In modern times, Christianity has been used to justify the most gross forms of materialism, colonialism, slavery, and warfare. Judaism, meanwhile, has turned mostly into a cultural force that pushes modernity and sexual immorality (through Hollywood) down the world's throat. Israel is supposedly a Jewish country, yet they have the highest proportion of atheists in the world. We see from their treatment of the Palestinians how religious they really are.

Both Christianity and Judaism have splintered into all kinds of sub-groups, another piece of evidence that they can't be the true religions. Islam has a few groups interpreting Allah's word, but they agree on the main points, unlike, say Reform Judaism and Orthodox Judaism or Catholicism and Pentecostalism.

Christians and secularists have by greed and violence enriched themselves over the centuries, but Allah has rewarded the Islamic world with the majority of the oil. Can this be a coincidence? Allah has forced the western world to respect us and demonstrated that greed and thievery will not be successful in the long run.

Islam is in ascension. Judaism is in its final throes and Christianity is so diluted and blinded by money and power as to be practically insignificant. Muslims are the only people who take Allah's word seriously. We are the only countries without rampant sexual immorality -- the way women parade around mostly naked and homosexuals are proud of being gay throughout the Christian and Jewish world is obviously against Allah's will, as even a cursory glance at any of the Abrahamic religion's holy books will tell you, but the so-called Christian and Jewish countries are rife with such behavior.

The end is coming and I urge all of you to submit yourself to Allah before it's too late. It should be clear to everyone that the western world is decaying under its own vile immorality and greed and that Allah is on the side of Muslims.


littlefoxling said...

LoL. This is great. You sound just like the Jewish Kiruv clowns.

LT said...

Hmmm... what do you call a person wh plays devil's advocate with someone playing devil's advocate? The Angel's advocate? The Devil's DA?


Both Christianity and Judaism have splintered into all kinds of sub-groups, another piece of evidence that they can't be the true religions. Islam has a few groups interpreting Allah's word, but they agree on the main points, unlike, say Reform Judaism and Orthodox Judaism or Catholicism and Pentecostalism.

To be fair, Reform and Orthodox Jews aren't killing each other (well... not yet, at least) the way that Shiites and Sunnis have been.

asher said...

You left out the best arguement:

And look at the world, my brothers. Are we not in charge of oil...the one commodity that all of the world cannot do without. Surely Allah has given us this as a present for our obedience to His will.

And our numbers are growing. In all of Europe, our foes from all time, we will soon over run them in numbers alone.

The Zionist state was an experiment; a test of our loyalty to our cause. It endures as Allah must test us to see if we will continue the fight against those apes and dogs, the Jews.

Even in America, the Large Devil on earth, one of our own has been elected to their government. And to laugh at their efforts, he even pretended to swear alligence to their laws by placing his hand on a Koran!
Our victory is near complete.
A black man who pretends he is not a true Muslim has fooled their country and may even run for president.

Truly we are a blessed people, which anyone who looks at current events can attest.

skcorefil said...

I don't think you made a very convincing argument. You could have done better.

jewish philosopher said...

I think Muslims consider the beauty of the Koran itself, in the original Arabic, to be proof of it's divine authorship. The Koran is itself a miracle.

Although, I would counter, that according to that logic Shakespeare is divine as well.

Anonymous said...

You almost convinced me. :-)

Actually it seems like the state of Norway is a big problem for your arguments. Norway has a higher percentage of non-religious people than Israel. And Norway as a "christian" nation is blessed with oil and is a wealthy nation because of it.

It's true that most norweigan oil deposits have been discovered in the same time muslim immigrants started to move in, but it's also the same time as the old norse paganism has been revived. It is my firm conviction that Asatru is the right religion, and that The Norse gods are responsible for the wealth of norway. Well, I'm off to sacrifice a horse to Odin now. ;-)

C.L. Hanson said...

Well, the Mormons agree with you on the whole "corruptions in the Bible" thing.

However, it's hard to deny some of the amazing miraculous proof of FSM.

Also, anonoymous makes a good case for Odin... ;-)

LT said...

Odin is da man... er... diety.

beepbeepitsme said...

It's interesting how each religion basically makes the same negative claims about each other.

I think they basically project the faults in themselves and their own ideologies onto their competition.

BaconEating AtheistJew said...

BeepX2, but Atheists do the same about every religion. I think that is just human nature to reenforce reasons why everyone else is wrong and I am right.

Just some Joe said...

I didn't like this one as much as your previous Opposite Day post. Your argument basically consisted of a critique of Christianity and Judaism that failed to deliver positive reasons why Islam is the proper alternative. I think this stems from a lack of familiarity with Muslim customs and cultures -- one I admittedly share, but I'm not the one playing advocate today. =)

LT said...

I think that is just human nature to reenforce reasons why everyone else is wrong and I am right.

True dat.

Rabbi Seinfeld said...

Good stuff! Reminded me of this hilarious parody of the Xian and Moslem arguments on the Daily Show...!


Anonymous said...

Who told you that Allah was the one true god? Perhaps you rigorously examined all of the scientific (namely one old book) and came to this conclusion

Krystalline Apostate said...

This is an interesting thought experiment, JA. (sorry so late - I should hang out here more often.)
I've been kicking something similar around in my mind for a bit - maybe I'll try my hand at it.